Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The Blank Page Begins

I know nothing about blogging. That point is clear to me now, since I have just spent the past hour looking up "blogging for dummies" on the Internet. I love reading other blogs, I love writing myself--but actually starting a blog has mystified me for years. Until tonight. At 11:07 p.m., I am starting my own blog.

I'm not sure why I am suddenly compelled to do this. Maybe it is the fact that after 3 1/2 years of marriage, we finally have Internet. Maybe it is the fact that I feel the need to connect with the world beyond our little basement apartment. Of course I have my neighbors, and neighbors just over the fence, and neighbors across the street. But really connecting with people--having a sort of kindred spirit. That sort of connection hasn't happened for years. Is that something that only happens when you are young and have hours to just BE. Be yourself, be goofy, be crazy and carefree. And I shared all of that with kindred spirits, and we dreamed often about the future. And yet, here is the catch, when all my dreams come true, all those amazing friends, those kindred spirits aren't here here to share it. They're living in other states because their dreams came true as well.

Luckily, I did find one kindred spirit that didn't leave. Of course, that is because he married me. Scottie is the one person that sees all sides of me--my goofy side, my funny side, my super emotional side that cries when things just get "too hard". He is the one that laughs when I suddenly do an interpretative dance, and the one that hugs me when I cry because I feel so inadequate at being a mom. And so for that, I am grateful that my most amazing kindred spirit is always by my side. He'll never be in another state living another dream, because we're building our dreams together.