1 Sick Kid = 1 Month Leave. Journal Blurg to get it all out

 It's been almost a month since I had any sort of schedule and writing success. I'm trying desperately to get back on this week. Yesterday was okay, and working at it today. Today was the 1st day that Juliet went to school - she's just there for 1/2 day. She's been sick since forever - coming down with a cold on March 28th, then an ear infection, then a double ear infection, then pneumonia. It's been 10 days since we were at the E.R., and 2 days after that she finally started to improve. It's been a long course. I haven't really felt up to anything besides keeping her medications going, laundry, and the daily trips to the grocery store. It's been exhausting. I've been totally exhausted. Then, on Saturday - Noel started getting sick. She had a fever after her soccer game, and is on crutches for her ankle. She went to school yesterday, and came home halfway through the day. She's home again today. The first day Juliet is at school and Noel is home. I seriously can't get a day of just being home, alone, with quietness. And that's hard for me. Like, really hard. And what makes it worse is that we're only weeks out from Summer Break. All 3 kids will be home, and I'm worried about my mental ability to handle it. I really don't know how to handle the noise and the non-scheduled days. The kids love summer, and I love the good times - but it's so hard for me to not have a schedule. How do I approach summer this summer to make it better? Also, I'm kind of feeling lost about the age Noel is at. A lot of her friends are getting jobs. I think it's great that kids are getting jobs, but I really didn't think she would be doing that until after 9th grade, before 10th grade at the earliest. I also don't know how she would manage a job with everything else she is doing (school, sports, music). She hasn't even practiced the violin in a couple of weeks b/c of school, track, and soccer. It's been too busy, for sure. And we're still heading into May - which is the worst month. It's so busy, I can barely keep up. So, my goal for today is to finish the blog. To finish it, and try to get it published? Or make it a part of my portfolio. I'm not really sure how to do that, but the point of writing it was to be able to use it as an example of my writing for future jobs. I gotta just start on that. Also, the phone + youtube is horrible. I just added limits again on Action Dash. And committed to not changing them again. So now, it's 12:49 p.m., and I'm finally ready to start writing - and also hungry. Do I write, or stop and eat? I'm seriously the worst at getting going. At being my own boss. I need to find a way to be my own boss - to get started each day. I just ordered a dayplanner - for $4.00. Gonna try a daily planner to get myself on a schedule. Okay - right now - gonna work to just work on the blog until I'm more hungry. But I am going to finish the blog today.

Lessons from the Blog

I've learned so much writing the work-at-home blog post. I think this is what I want to do: write about topics that will help me learn and grow. I loved writing this blog because I don't have all the answers - so I was genuinely interested in putting together the google form, poring over the data, and having some follow-up phone interviews. It wasn't just work - it was fun. 

Here are some of the key takeaways:

1. A good pattern for me is to focus on one type of writing / day. With practice, maybe I can increase it to two / day. This would look like: website copy (Monday and Tuesday), Email - Client Acquisition (Wednesday and Thursday), Parenting Book (Friday). It is the same stuff getting done, just focused each day. For my brain, that's such a help. I did this on Friday - ONLY working on the blog. I was really happy with the day, my focus, and the end product!

2. I still can't figure out the morning after the kids are gone, even if I work out and get ready before they go!! Because of this, I'm going to work on listening to a podcast that first hour and doing some sort of home chore like laundry or dinner prep. Maybe 1 chore / day to keep the house going and get my brain ready. Everyone says that their brain is super sharp first thing in the morning, but I feel like it takes me a while to wake up and have my brain alert. I used to just jump into work, but with age, it's been harder.

3. I like writing on the couch. Or right now, I'm sitting on the bed. I like the door closed. And I definitely should put the writing-heavy tasks in the hours when the kids are at school, because it's impossible for me to focus if they're home. I can do other stuff when they are home - even make appointments (oh, I hate that chore!). Anyway, the common thread is that I need to have an area where it is quiet and I'm not with anyone. I learned that about half the moms are like me. The other half are okay with someone being in the room. And during the week I came to realize - that's great for them. It doesn't work for me - and that's okay. I'm going to do what works for me.

4. Youtube and Facebook are complete distractions. And opening up new browsers. so, I need to have a few open, and then just stick to those. 

5. I'm excited for another week of work. I feel a lot better about where I'm headed, and my possibilities. I'm also working on getting my paperwork completed to be a substitute. That's exciting. Having less time seems like a bad thing, but it could be good to helping me focus my hours more. Sometimes less is more.

That's it! I just feel grateful that the blog helped me learn things, lean into my own strengths and patterns, and find ways from others that I can implement. It's going to be a GREAT week!

The Work-At-Home Blog Post (ideas and outline)

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I am working on a blog post about stay-at-home moms, hoping to use it for a portfolio piece as well as submitting to get published. I picked a topic I struggle with, so that it would be interesting to write AND would help me figure out the #1 question I currently have: how in the heck do I possibly figure out the work hours of working at home, without any sort of structure from anyone? 

I sent out a survey, and the responses were fascinating. It does prove to me that others may not struggle as much with transitions or focusing as I do. I'm still unsure if this is something I can just learn, or if there really is a mental thing happening. My friend Tori has mentioned that I exhibit some signs of ADHD, and MK as well. I don't know though. I know I need to get in to see a Counselor, because if it could help me figure out how to focus, that would be amazing. I do know that I do much better with a schedule and structure. I've known that for a very long time.

Once I'm started, I'm amazing. I just don't know how to sit down and start in the morning. I'll tell you what doesn't work - sitting on the couch in the front room (first thing anyway). If I end up there later in the day, that's fine. Also, having my phone with me. Seriously - it's the worst thing to give to someone like me that has a hard time focusing. I think this is why I like paper and pen so much - instead of the computer. It doesn't have distractions. I don't open a page, click on some random link I hadn't thought about 5 seconds before, and then get sucked into 5 more articles (none of which are things I need, but all of them are suddenly imperative to me). I'm a sucker for that sort of click-bait. 

Anyway, I'm going to work on the work-at-home outline today. As in now. Then web copy, then sending out a couple emails. Whew! A fun day ahead!

Monday Morning

 For any day, I'm doing pretty good. 

For a Monday, I'm doing amazing.

Transitioning from the weekend is a bit rough for me, so the fact that I'm on my laptop typing by 10:29 is amazing. I have a list, and I'm staying focused.

I just want to write for a minute about how to stay focused. I realized this was a big question / problem for me, so I decided to write a piece on it. Not because I'm an expert, but because I'm obviously not. I made up a form and shared it on the course platform, linkedin, and facebook. I've gotten enough responses (17) to at least have some good quotes and see some patterns. I'd love to see more - but unsure how to do that. Anyway, most of the responses followed the same pattern: having an office where you can shut the door and have a separation from the family responsibilities. A lot mentioned earbuds to get rid of distracting noise (this is me - I seriously respond to any noise - it's so hard for me). And then there was one outlier - a lady who works at her kitchen table with her kids being home. With them working at the table. She even said that she has an uncanny ability to block out noice. She sometimes gets in trouble for this in relationships, because she can block out whole conversations. But in working from home, it's something of a superpower.

The other thing that's come up in a few is a conversation that has happened with kids of parents that work from home - going over expectations and boundaries. The kids are well aware that the parent is working, and so don't disturb them. I think this is what is missing if I'm going to be working at all when the kids are at home, and definitely for the summer. We need to talk about what that will look like with me working, and how they should arrange their time. Which brings me to...

I can't do it all. I can't hit a mark of getting work done and be at their beck and call to help them. It's just not possible. When I'm on "work" - I need to work, and give that my focus. When the tasks for the job are done, I can switch to "mom" mode, and jump from task to task (b/c that actually works for the house - jumping from laundry, to meal planning to helping Chaim practice guitar and back to laundry and over to a few more tasks for the day). 

OR...and this is where I'm not quite to...because I still need to just work on hitting close to 25 hours / week of focused copywriting...but it makes me wonder if I've been approaching mom as a scattered job, when really it should be a focused job. That might be a game changer. I mean - couldn't every job be super scattered if we allow it to? Is being a mom scattered by definition - or is it because I have a hard time focusing that it seems all over the place? I think once I've completed the stay-at-home writing piece and worked on that, it might be time to evaluate my "out-of-work" hours and routine. 

Which means - I have room to improve. All. Over. The. Place. Like - everywhere. 

Closing out another Week

I've heard somewhere a joke about the workweek getting scrunchec - that Monday is coming off the weekend, Tuesday is getting started, Wednesday and Thursday you work, and Friday is getting ready to play again. 

Sadly, I think this is true for me. I've noticed the past few months just how difficult transitions are for me. Transitioning from kids going to school in the morning to getting to work. Transitioning from a weekend back to the workweek. Small and big transitions throw me for a loop. I seem to have very little focus or ability to jump back in to work.

I'm taking Chaim skiing this afternoon, leaving our house at 2:00. That's more than enough time to get in FIVE hours of work. Which is why it's 11 a.m., and I've accomplished almost nothing. I got sidetracked by a call about a form for school - and that was at 9:30 a.m. I could have put it on the list for tomorrow, but I just didn't consider that. I'm so easily sidetracked to what asks for my time presently.

This is why I thought I would write a blog about work patterns of work-at-home moms. It's a work sample and it's a help for me to figure out what works for others! I feel stymied by what to actually do...and seem to lack any sort of internal discipline at present.

With that, I think that'll be my first task of the day - sorting through that data, following up with those that shared their info, and outlining the blog. It actually sounds fun - and I'm going to work at writing random thoughts on a random dayplanner page - to complete after!

You've got this Brooke! 

Disarming with Humor

Juliet is quite clever.

She's good at reading situations and people. She's good at reading me.

One particularly bad morning when all the things go wrong — no breakfast, running out of shampoo in the shower, and having to scramble to find somewhat-clean socks in the dirty hamper — we loaded up in the car running late and drove to school. When I asked if she had a required school form with her, she played her cards right.

She fessed up to it, and then before I could say anything, launched into her own gag (is that the right word). "Kids these days - they don't remember anything! You ask them to pack their bag the night before, and they put it off. Then they wake up late, which makes the parent late..it's so infuriating!" 

She paused for a second - giving me time to insert anything.

It was so disarming. I laughed. I didn't even think - it was my natural reaction without a thought.

When I dropped her off at school, it felt good. I felt good.

She's clever enough to pull this off. And nice enough to not rub it in my face. 

Yup - I hit "send"!

I just submitted my 2nd piece to LDS Living. This one feels like a bigger thing to submit. It's longer, but it just feels a bit bigger - probably because the reading pool is bigger than the BYU Alumni magazine. Anyway, I hit "send". It felt scary to do, and I did it. It's my second piece I've submitted it. 

I'm really proud of myself. I'm writing and going forward. The next piece I'm going to work on is for a different sort of publication - instead of gospel-related, it's for an educational company. I think it will be a good challenge, and push me to expand what I'm writing about.

I'm also continuing with the book idea I had with Juliet. I have an intro and the first section started. It's a lot of fun to write and work on. I think I could probably start sending out queries to publishing companies while I'm working on it. This is totally new to me, but I have to start somewhere! I'm going to research a bit how to send out a "pitch". That's exciting!

Well, it's Wednesday - so my goal is to work on the education piece for the next week and submit between next Wednesday and Friday. 

and...while doing that to start sending out some copywriting things to get some clients. The video yesterday was helpful to getting my motivation going again!

That's it for today - now I've gotta get to work!

2nd piece to submit

 I've been working on a longer piece to submit to a different online magazine. They ask for pieces from 600 - 2200 words (quite a range). I pushed myself to write a longer piece, and then trimmed it down a bit to come in at about 1500 words. I had my sisters read it, then my mom and dad, then my friend Kim. 

Kim is an exceptional writer. She was probably the best writer in our high school, and she's continued since then. We met up on Wednesday for a hike and I was so excited to talk to her about writing. For years she's been gently asking if I was writing, and I never was. How in the world was I going to compete with the real writers? I didn't have anything to offer. But somehow in the past year, I've re-gained some hope in my own abilities, as well as my ability to grow and learn. I can keep working at writing and improve. I can work at writing. 

She also edited my essay over the weekend, and she's been very supportive. She had great feedback, and I've used it to make a better essay. I'm not sure if it will be published, but I'm really proud of it now. It's what I wanted to say. And I'm learning how to write better with it.

As soon as Scott gives it a read, I'll submit it. Hopefully tonight or tomorrow. 

I'm going to start working on another piece as well. Once one is in, it's important to keep moving forward. I also am using the guideline from copywriting and getting clients to hearing back about writing essays for magazines - if I have time to be worried about a piece getting published, I'm not sending out enough queries. I actually haven't thought too much about the BYU magazine post to be worried about it being published, because I was working hard on the 2nd piece (lessons while teaching C. to ski).

So, instead of worrying about either piece getting published, I'll move on to the next piece and try to finish it in the next week and submit it as well.

While copywriting too - and getting clients that way. I really don't have time to worry - there's so much to learn and do! I'm going to look at all of this as a gift and blessing, which helps me be excited with the learning. If I just focus on income, it feels like drudgery. If I focus on how lucky I am to have time to write and learn a new career, I feel incredibly lucky. 

Lucky me. :-)

With that, I'll head off to start on another piece. 

going to submit!

 I finished the blog about "moments" - and I had Scott read it.

This is Big. Huge. Monumental.

I'm okay with strangers reading my stuff...but Scott? It feels so vulnerable and scary, because his words can lift me or sink me. 

But I did it - I had him read it. And he liked it. So, I'm going to submit it. And then move on to another. I've got to just keep plugging away. Keep working and writing and moving forward. 

Just wanted to report. 

Writing

I'm trying to get back into the flow of writing. Any sort of writing. Of course I need to do copywriting, but I'm just trying to write. Journal. Blog Post. Poem. Anything to get me to practice focusing.

I've started three different blog posts in the last week, and I'm close to finishing one. I'm working to submit that to BYU Magazine. It feels big to submit it. I'm going to work on the two others to also submit - because I'm unsure if they'll even choose the first one.

I want to keep plugging along with writing. I'm trying hard to figure out a daily schedule that works. I seem to be struggling with sleeping at night, getting up in the morning, and getting started. I don't sit down to write until noon - so a big part of my day is already gone. It's crazy. I used to be such a morning person with work and focus. I'm struggling a bit with that now.

So, I'm just trying to sit and write for 2 hours anytime in the day. To work on the blogs this week, and then start copywriting again next week with client outreach. Trying to hit it hard for March, April, and May and really spring these next few months to make it work. I thought it would be easier - it's not. I thought it would happen faster - it didn't. And so I'm struggling a bit to figure out my place and my contribution with our earnings. I've always worked (minus the 1 year of being pregnant with Juliet, when Noel was an infant as well). I just would like to work and get paid for it. I keep working at copywriting without getting paid, and it's hard to keep going. That's why I'm writing these blogs, to hopefully get published and see that the input does have some sort of output. 

For today, just going to try to finish the one blog post. The one about moments. 

Be My Own Coach - a Self Talk to help me approach the Daily Schedule

I've been having trouble figuring out how to work at home, so thought I'd pretend to be someone else and give myself some advice. Maybe this will help me be kinder to myself than I usually am.

---------------

Hello, Brooke! You are doing a HUGE thing by starting a new career! That's awesome! I'm excited for you, and think that this schedule could help you out.

First Things First have to start the night BEFORE the morning. When dinner and dishes and scripture time are done, get yourself to bed. Reward yourself with reading IN BED in your jammies with brushed teeth, not on the couch watching t.v. If the kids go to bed at 9, do the same for yourself. Read and then turn out the lights. See if doing this for 10 days makes a difference in how you sleep and how you get up in the morning. Remember: nothing HAS to be done at night except sleep. Sleeping is the greatest way to take care of yourself.

First things IN the morning. Try to get in at least 15 minutes of stretching and moving to wake up your body. If you have time after this to get in a workout, great. If not, get the workout in as SOON as Chaim leaves for school. 

You know Youtube is fun and addicting. This is NOT your fault. So, do yourself a favor and don't pick up any device with Youtube on it. 

To start on writing work. Follow this:

1. Mindset Work: affirmations, scriptures, prayer

2. Blog if needed to get creative juices flowing :-)

3. Write some copy for a company you know (practice)

4. Reach out to 10 companies a day. That's what YOU can do (not someone else)

5. Apply for 1 Upwork job a day

And when that's done, you're done for the day, to being the "work" around the house which is somewhat hard to stay focused on, and works better.

Brooke, you are doing great! You are being courageous. You are brave. You are still at the beginning, and just need to keep going.  

Don't worry about starting this before the Soccer Trip. Start it on Feb. 20th, and get in 5 days every week. If you need to "double up" because of a ski day, just double the work (reach out to 20 companies i 1 day, and apply to 2 upwork jobs). That way you can take off and enjoy your kiddos, and not feel guilt. Let that guilt go - you are doing GREAT! Seriously...great! 

-----------------

And...back to me. That was a nice pep talk from my alter-Brooke. Self-talk with love and kindness. Sometimes I need to step outside of myself and just be proud of where I am, where I'm going, and how I'm going. 

Round 2: Doubt to Confidence #2, Test Prep Company

 I was blown away by the increase in ACT scores students were reporting. Going from a 29 to 33 - or a 32 to the perfect 36! Were these a few outliers? Or was it common practice for all students enrolled in this test prep to have such a big point increase? I'd heard of other companies promising a 2+ gain, but this one had outcomes that seemed too good to be true.

For this company, a 4+ point increase is the norm - NOT the exception. In fact, it's the baseline they guarantee for all students who enroll in their programs. The individualized tutoring targets the areas a student can get the BIGGEST gains in. It's a fact that not all subjects are tested equally - so focusing study time on knowing the most tested categories can increase scores the most. It requires more work for the company to know which subjects to prepare students in. They take the extra time and study the percentages of questions asked in categories so you don't have to. And that's where you can be confident that their test prep will grant you a 4+ increase on the ACT.  To experience these sort of gains, sign up now for a first appointment. Let Method Learning become Your Method for Test Prep. 

Round 2: Doubt to Confidence #1, Gap Year Company

 I was so concerned that my son's idea of taking a "gap year" would become a "forever gap". How would he ever get back to school?  Wouldn't his year off be seen as slacking by his eventual employers.  

It turns out my fears were groundless. In fact, a gap year wouldn't be a strike against his resume...it was actually a strength!  A gap year - well spent - can offer the experience needed for landing an internship in college or getting the right first job after college. My son's gap year helped him stand-out during the application and interview process, landing his dream job 3 months before he graduated college.

A Gap Year is exactly what is needed in this new economy where experience is just as important as a degree. Maybe more. The Gap Year can be an asset on a resume, when planned right. Gap Year Solutions is the company to plan an individualized gap year that will be enjoyable and pay off in the long-run. Start talking about what a Gap Year can look for you by signing up for a 15-minute consultation with one of our Counselors. 

Round 2: Empathy through Shared Misery Practice #2, In College Advising Company

Are you in your freshman year, and wondering why your Professor keeps mentioning office hours during class?  What is he talking about, and why does it even matter? Don't feel embarrassed that you don't know - it's not explained to any students during freshman orientation.  Sure, they tell you where to pay your tuition and when finals week will be - but what about how to prepare for the final?  

The problem is - most of high school focuses on getting INTO college.  You hear a lot about keeping up a GPA, extra-curriculars, and test scores.  The goal for years was to begin college. Once there, there are limited, if any, instructions. You arrive at class and study and work hard, but you're falling behind, and you aren't sure what you're missing.

This is 100% not your fault. 

All the Professors and Financial Aid Advisors and General Advisors think someone else is giving you the 'unwritten rules of college success'. 

The reality is no one is.

It's time to have a personal mentor for college. Someone that is taking time to teach how to:

• navigate the system. 
• understanding and using office hours.
• network for summer internshipss.
• learning to maximize your study time.  

You didn't know this before, but you know it now.

Let's get started.

Round 2: Empathy through Shared Misery Practice #1, Soccer Coach Program

Have you ever been frozen during the half-time speech to your team? The only phrase you can string together is find the back of the net. You're in way over your head, and it's showing at games. It's mid-season, and your team haven't won a game.  They were great at recreation level, but jumping to competition level was more than you bargained for.  And while you JV in high school, you suddenly realize you're in way over your head.

Don't feel bad.  This happens to a lot of coaches.  The problem is, you start coaching to be with your son or daughter and the first year it's fun. You're playing sharks and minnows at practice, and lightning rounds on goal. Your team plays games and wins and it feels amazing. You feel like you can move up with the team to the competitive level, and you do. But the games get harder, and your team is losing. And it's not fun anymore. You're still holding practices and running drills, but it isn't enough. Sharks and minnows simply isn't enough at this level, but you don't know what to do.

You're not alone in this experience.

The problem is - they sign you up to be a coach because you're desperately needed - but don't offer training or support. And you keep moving up to the next level of play, but without the guidance you desperately need. 

The answer is simpler than you think. And it doesn't involve scrolling through youtube every night trying to piece together some drills that will *hopefully* help your players. 

The answer is a program with games designed for youth soccer teams, specific to skills.  Need help with finishing on goal? Then use the section of shooting drills - there are 29 options!  If you notice that your Goalkeeper is letting easy shots go through, then the 15 Keeper Games is your plan for the next several practice.  Altogether, the Smart Coaching Program is all the SMART skills and game-sense you need to change into a winning team.

Round 2: Anger to Envy to Offer Practice #2, soccer e-learning course

For most soccer parents, the only thing worse than bad referees at the soccer game is watching the entire game without seeing your daughter play. And - to make matters worse - you notice the new player on the team is suddenly a starter.  How did she get to that point?

The new player suddenly has great first-touch, great footwork, and is winning 1-on-1s.  

She's a completely different player than she was a few months ago.

She's the sort of player that should be a starter, you suddenly realize. 

Through some sideline conversations, you learn that the parents bought an at-home soccer coaching program. They don't know soccer any better than you, they just knew that their daughter needed more time on the ball. It's hard to swallow, but you suddenly realize that while your daughter has stayed at the same level, the 'new kid' has drastically improved. And because you want your daughter to not only be on the team, but to play for the team, you're probably going to be interested in that same soccer program:  DribbleUp.  DribbleUp is the program every player needs to be on the starting lineup.  

Round 2: Anger to Envy to Offer Practice #1, Violin Teacher

For most people, the most dreaded 30 minutes of the day is when you try to get your child to practice. It's painful. Not very productive. It's a little bit of music and a lot of complaining. But it's not this way for the Krim girls.

For the Krim Girls, practicing is not a big deal, because they've been doing it for years and they now have a pattern. Even though they are 12 and 13 years old and might have attitude about other things their mom asks them to do, they never put up a fight about practicing their violin. 

They usually practice 45 minutes a day on their own. 

They practice without any supervision. 

They practice scales and vibrato and all the boring stuff.  

Do the Krim girls know something your child doesn't? 

They probably do, and that's why I thought you'd be interested in checking out their Violin Teacher: Rachelle Harper.  

Rachelle Harper is a Suzuki Teacher that exemplifies all the positive aspects of the Suzuki Method. She is patient and  consistent, and her students develop these same traits. You can schedule a trial lesson with her and discover why Rachelle Harper is in demand for parents that want to have their children practice and play with enjoyment.  

Click Here to Schedule Your Trial Lesson.  

My Morning Routine Is a Work in Progress (as am I)

I have two goals everyday:  practice copywriting and work on getting clients. That's it.  I'm taking the counsel of Ryan and Chelli and working to apply them everyday.  I've started over with the emotional techniques, and going to work through them daily (hopefully 2 techniques a day).  I'll be writing them for potential clients so I can share them.

I'm feeling pretty good this morning--of course it took me a few hours to get here (it's now 10:45 a.m.), but I'm not in a good spot for writing.  I seriously am not allowed to pick up my phone in the mornings.  I completely wasted the 6 a.m. - 7 a.m. hour, then again from 8:15 - 8:55 a.m. My phone is now in time-out, because I can't handle it.  I listened to a coaching call to get in the right mindset while sorting and starting laundry, and have ben at the laptop since 10 a.m.--actually making headway.  I think I'm "slow to start"--and it's okay to work on some housekeeping stuff while listening to a coaching call, so when I sit down, my mind is focused.  I used to be good at getting up and within 5 minutes I was working out or journaling or reading my scriptures.  Now, I'm like, "I'm awake physically, but this mind is slowly processing...proceed with caution and kindness."  

I've got to start fitting my morning routine to what it "should" be, or what it "used to be".  I've got to figure out what works. Let's be honest--the starting laundry and cleaning a bit in the morning IS a good fit for our home and family needs.  Lean into it, do it, and then start work once a couple areas are clean.  It'll help with feeling like we're on the right foot.

So...now that I'm started (I've already outlined a couple examples of the emotional technique #1), I'm going to write that now and post it.  Work in Progress.  let's go!

Drop the Overwhelm and Enjoy the College Application Season. For Real.

Help Your Teen Move COLLEGE APPS from the "List to Avoid"  TO 'THE HAPPY AND DONE LIST!'

Is your teen...

...avoiding computers?

...avoiding your school counselor?

...avoiding anyone that asks "how are those apps coming along?"

And you know...the "apps" aren't the yummy appetizers for the Homecoming Party. The "apps" are the college apps your teen keeps avoiding. The series of blanks for personal information, then lists of accomplishments and honors, documents to submit, and essays to write. Even the list sends them into overwhelm.  

But...did you know...it's actually possible to ENJOY THE PROCESS?!  

For Your Teen. And For You. 

(take a moment and enjoy this new possibility)

It's possible to DROP THE OVERWHELM.  

Senior Year is the culmination of all the good of high school, and shouldn't be buried under fear and feeling lost. You've watched your teen accomplish all the hard work--you just need some guidance to package it for the colleges.  

So, instead of running from college apps, they'll be running TO the apps with the help of weekly guidance and insights from a personal college counselor.  

A personal college counselor can work with your teen on the application, step-by-step.  Instead of feeling lost and alone, they can feel connected with someone by their side to answer questions in the moment.  Your teen will check off portions of the application with every appointment, and submit the best application to fantastic colleges!  And this positive experience can begin today, by signing up HERE for private and helpful college consulting.  

Most students are able to complete the application in 3-5 hour-long sessions.  So, help your teen ditch the overwhelm and grab some senior year enjoyment by signing up now.   

Am I a "Fixer" or a "Builder"?

 I went to the doctor today for my knee.  It's not horrible, it's just not great, after a weird fall while running last week. Not to bore with details, but here they are:  about 30 minutes into my jog/walk--my left ankle rolled to the left, and while going down, my body tried to catch itself.  My right leg was somewhat closer to the ground, and all the muscles in my right thigh jammed into my knee.  Compressed is the closest word I can think of for the pressurized pain that happened.  I fell and tumbled and wondered what had happened.  I sat there for 5 minutes, praying and pleading...begging God to just heal me.  How could I function with an injury to BOTH legs? I prayed internally, petitioning Bowie to come next to me (the dog I'd borrowed for this run to be 'safe').  While I sat there, 4 cyclists went by and said hi.  I was obviously hurt--covered in dirt and literally SITTING on one track of the double-track trail.  A walker also passed by me.  I'm still processing that no one stopped.  I am, gratefully, quite aware that God noticed my fall.  And my need for healing.  I somehow got up, and when I stood, my left ankle didn't throb.  And I could put weight on my right leg.  I walked back to the car, talking to God the entire way--completely aware that I had been healed.  I knew it.  I know it still today.  I felt my left ankle turn badly.  I could tell something was off with my right leg, but also grateful that I could walk.

That night, my knee started to tighten, and it's been a week of taking all the care I can with it:  icing, heat baths, heat pads, advil, massages with essential oils, using crutches, wrapping it, not bending it, not doing stairs.  Yesterday, I hit the week mark, and felt like it should be better.  I called the doctor's office, and they had an appointment for today (how often does that happen?!).  I went in this morning, and the short story is (not sure why I'm now going to the short story...except the long story, the one that matters is still in the wings)...there is no permanent damage to my knee.  Another week of heat pads (no ice), no crutches or bandages (to strengthen it) and I should be okay.  Two weeks max.  I'm thrilled.  It's as good as I could've hoped for.  

While I was in, we also talked about chest pain I've had the past two months.  It specifically started at Lilly's wedding, and happens 2-3 times a week.  I was actually supposed to call to get that checked a month ago, but kept putting it off.  My knee pain was the catalyst to get me to call, because it's limited so many of the daily things I need to do (hello laundry piles...yes, I see you growing).  So, we talked about the chest pain.  And--no heart attack coming.  Because it never happens during physical exertion, and I don't have any other symptoms, the Doc thinks it could be treated through counseling.  And instead of just sending me to a Counselor, he sort of practiced a first session with me.  Right there.  As part of my medical examination.  Totally tying the physical and the mental/emotional altogether.  Which completely makes sense to me, just amazing to experience a doctor that does it.

And here's some of the takeaways (that I really want to remember, and continue to workthrough:

• there are times when I try to "fix" things.  I try to "fix" my mom making possible comments to the girls about weigh and size.  I try to "fix" problems.  I may try to "fix" the sorry mental state I often find myself in.  Instead.
• I can "build".  I can work on "building" a relationship. I can "build" a life that I want.  I can "build" myself.
• He emphasized time and again, that I don't need fixing, because I'm not broken inside.  And so fixing doesn't need to happen.  I can build up myself, build up my life, and talk to myself about that, and work on that daily.  To BUILD. (I wish I could explain it better--hopefully with time I can).
• I can't "fix" getting my business going, because it's in the correct state it is in.  I can "build" it each day, and work on that.  But I don't need to "fix" it (or me).
• We talked about how the first time the chest pain happened, it happened at Lilly's wedding, with lots of family.  I love being around family, but I do feel stressed about it.  Again...am I trying to "fix" things that just...are.  Instead, can I just enjoy the present state, and build?  
• this is seriously a huge thing
• I can see that my default state is to "fix".  I can see my mom is a "fixer", and that my Grandpa was, too.  
• Coming home...realizing that I can't be a "fixer" type of mom.  My kids don't need me to fix them, they simply need me as a mom.  I feel like my mom was a fantastic business owner, piano teacher, and is totally a leader.  Sometimes though, I don't need her to fix everything, I just need her to be a mom, and listen.  My whole family is full of fixers.  Grandpa Miller was classic "fixer".  But with fixing--it's implied something is broken.  I don't see my kids that way, but sometimes, I still "fix", because--maybe I know better?  see further?  can help?  The answer is...NO.  I can be their mom--which leads to
• when I got home, was listening to work training re:  The Hero's Journey.  She said this "the client sees themselves as the hero, and the company / copywriter are the guide."  Suddenly, it clicked:
• my children are the "hero" of their own life:  discovering, learning, on their own journey (and news flash:  I'm still on my OWN journey of learning and trying to figure it out).  I can be their guide, but not their fixer.
• If I'm not a "fixer", then what is my role as a parent?  How do I guide and build, without fixing?  This is the question that slapped me across my face and feels important.
• The thing is, being a "fixer" is giving me anxiety.  It's causing me chest pain.  It feeds into the stress that causes my Achilles Tendon to flare up in stressful times. ...because I subconsciously need to "fix it".  

All this means is that I'm acutely aware today of how much I need counseling.  I almost had a full meltdown in the doctor's office because of all the emotions our talk was bringing up.  He was incredibly patient with me, helping me to become aware that I don't need to take all of it on myself, but instead to start looking at myself as "building" rather than "fixing". 

Whew!  That's it.  It's the start of long-term counseling that I really need.  I know it.  So, apparently my knee got me in to the office to talk to the Doc about my heart and my mental health.  God's Hand is totally directing my life.