Somewhere along the way, I wondered where she came from. Curly hair and smile like me, but where did she get that spirit? That crazy attitude? The moments of complete resistence to anything I say?
I started bemoaning that I had such a spirited child. Why can't she be more mellow? I wondered.
And then something happened. I babysat one of my friend's little girls. For an hour, she sat on the couch and did nothing. Not a movement, a word, a flicker of a smile. She was the exact opposite to my little Noel. She was mellow beyond mellow, and when she went home, I was exhausted and relieved.
That day I realized I needed Noel. I need her spunky attitude because it fits my own. I need her energy because I want someone to dance to music I play while cooking breakfast. I need someone that shouts "Horses!" while we are driving to the store, because I want to be excited, too. We seem to feed off each other's energy--my child that plays and laughs all day long.
People have repeatedly told me that God sent Noel to me because she needed me as a mom. But the truth is, I need her.