Friday, July 6, 2012

Loving Her

Somewhere along the way, I wondered where she came from.  Curly hair and smile like me, but where did she get that spirit?  That crazy attitude?  The moments of complete resistence to anything I say? 
I started bemoaning that I had such a spirited child.  Why can't she be more mellow?  I wondered. 

And then something happened.  I babysat one of my friend's little girls.  For an hour, she sat on the couch and did nothing.  Not a movement, a word, a flicker of a smile.  She was the exact opposite to my little Noel.  She was mellow beyond mellow, and when she went home, I was exhausted and relieved.

That day I realized I needed Noel.  I need her spunky attitude because it fits my own.  I need her energy because I want someone to dance to music I play while cooking breakfast.  I need someone that shouts "Horses!"  while we are driving to the store, because I want to be excited, too.  We seem to feed off each other's energy--my child that plays and laughs all day long.

People have repeatedly told me that God sent Noel to me because she needed me as a mom.  But the truth is, I need her.


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