Monday Beginnings

Monday. 

A good Monday.

All 3 kids are at school - the 1st day that's happened in over a month.

And I'm happy.

Does that make me a bad parent - or just an introvert that's been getting by on very limited quiet time - specifically personal time to do things in an order that makes sense to me? I haven't taken a total break today - I still did the dishes and got the laundry started. I'm going to head to the grocery store soon. But it's just that I've been able to think complete thoughts today w/o requests for hot lemonade or herbal tea. I've been able to listen to a fantastic podcast about the Book of Job while doing some house chores. I've got 4 weeks until summer break, and I really really  need this time to think in order to handle summer. 3 months of having kids home - asking the question "what are we doing today?" everyday. Like - everyday. I thought being a mom was more being a guide and teacher, but it's more like being a social even planner, which is so not my gig. It's setting up play dates, and making special food, and finding ways to make holidays special beyond the norm. It's figuring out presents and gifts and activities for a wide group of ages and interests. And for this mom, it's a lot. It's exhausting. I feel like I'm pretty good at the everyday life (mostly), but the weekends, holidays, and school breaks really are a struggle. And the summer break is the biggest one of all. And so, I'm just trying to enjoy today - and tomorrow - and the next few weeks before the daily requests of "what are we doing today?" begin.

1 Sick Kid = 1 Month Leave. Journal Blurg to get it all out

 It's been almost a month since I had any sort of schedule and writing success. I'm trying desperately to get back on this week. Yesterday was okay, and working at it today. Today was the 1st day that Juliet went to school - she's just there for 1/2 day. She's been sick since forever - coming down with a cold on March 28th, then an ear infection, then a double ear infection, then pneumonia. It's been 10 days since we were at the E.R., and 2 days after that she finally started to improve. It's been a long course. I haven't really felt up to anything besides keeping her medications going, laundry, and the daily trips to the grocery store. It's been exhausting. I've been totally exhausted. Then, on Saturday - Noel started getting sick. She had a fever after her soccer game, and is on crutches for her ankle. She went to school yesterday, and came home halfway through the day. She's home again today. The first day Juliet is at school and Noel is home. I seriously can't get a day of just being home, alone, with quietness. And that's hard for me. Like, really hard. And what makes it worse is that we're only weeks out from Summer Break. All 3 kids will be home, and I'm worried about my mental ability to handle it. I really don't know how to handle the noise and the non-scheduled days. The kids love summer, and I love the good times - but it's so hard for me to not have a schedule. How do I approach summer this summer to make it better? Also, I'm kind of feeling lost about the age Noel is at. A lot of her friends are getting jobs. I think it's great that kids are getting jobs, but I really didn't think she would be doing that until after 9th grade, before 10th grade at the earliest. I also don't know how she would manage a job with everything else she is doing (school, sports, music). She hasn't even practiced the violin in a couple of weeks b/c of school, track, and soccer. It's been too busy, for sure. And we're still heading into May - which is the worst month. It's so busy, I can barely keep up. So, my goal for today is to finish the blog. To finish it, and try to get it published? Or make it a part of my portfolio. I'm not really sure how to do that, but the point of writing it was to be able to use it as an example of my writing for future jobs. I gotta just start on that. Also, the phone + youtube is horrible. I just added limits again on Action Dash. And committed to not changing them again. So now, it's 12:49 p.m., and I'm finally ready to start writing - and also hungry. Do I write, or stop and eat? I'm seriously the worst at getting going. At being my own boss. I need to find a way to be my own boss - to get started each day. I just ordered a dayplanner - for $4.00. Gonna try a daily planner to get myself on a schedule. Okay - right now - gonna work to just work on the blog until I'm more hungry. But I am going to finish the blog today.