Monday, March 30, 2015

Why Are You Here?

"Why Are You Here?"  He asked, the sixth specialist we saw this morning.  Contrary to the words, it wasn't a rude question.  It was an honest question:  why was Chaim here?  And he didn't mean here as in alive, he meant here as in sitting in my office.  He was simply puzzled by Chaim. 

Another specialist siting at the far side of the room finally interjected:  "Hypoxic Ischemic." 

And so it was:  Hypoxic Ischemic, a condition where a baby is born under trauma, without oxygen.  If treatment doesn't happen quickly (within 1-2 minutes), brain damage will occur.  Little Chaim was born without oxygen--but looking at him now, you'd never guess it.  We still have to see specialists to make sure he meets his milestones, but we are all amazed at how strong his body is, and especially how active and alert his mind is. 

"It's amazing," the doctor went on, "The cooling cap has changed everything. Before the cap, these kids would have all sorts of brain problems.  They wouldn't grab things.  They wouldn't roll over.  They wouldn't ever be able to master certain skills.  Now..."  His voice trailed off, and we both were looking at Chaim.  Now...we have Chaim.

My Chaim.  My amazing little boy that is rolling over and grabbing things and laughing and babbling...and living.  I will never get over the miracle of Chaim.  I hold heaven every time I hold him, and he has changed my life.  He has made me love more deeply--spending time with the people I love rather than making excuses about "getting there next time".  I'm a better mom to Noel and Juliet, because somehow the fragility of life is very real to me.  I'm a better wife to Scott, who comforted me during those first hours, days, and weeks of Chaim's life.  It's an experience I wouldn't wish for anyone to go through--and yet, I'm so grateful for all the lessons I've learned about LIFE.  I am grateful for the cooling cap, and the doctors and nurses that knew exactly what to do in the moment. 

Grateful for so many things to the point that if a specialist asks again:  "Why Are You Here?" I may very well say, "Because of miracles." 


Melissa Sarno said...

I love this. Go Chaim! And go you for living life.

Aimee said...

This post makes me so happy!!!